For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have my own little family. Some people are career orientated, but for me, I wanted to find the love of my life and have children. I always imagined that I would love pregnancy, enjoy every moment, and have that 'glow' people always talk about.
When I saw that positive pregnancy test I wasn't filled with joy as I thought I would be, instead I felt overwhelmed and terrified. Whilst I've always wanted a family, pregnancy came as a shock, and I felt very unprepared. The next ten weeks which made up the rest of my first trimester were so much harder than I could have imagined. Not everyone has a blissful and easy pregnancy, and I think it's important to share this so when other women find themselves in the same position they know they are not alone.
So this is a summary of my first trimester, both for others if anyone stumbles upon my little corner of the internet, and for myself so I can look back and remember what pregnancy was like.
My biggest pregnancy symptom in the first trimester was anxiety, and it began as soon as I found out i was expecting. You name it, I worried about it. I constantly believed that there was something wrong with the baby, or that I had miscarried and not known about it, or that I was doing something wrong that could cause the baby harm. Before my scan I genuinely believed that they wouldn't find a baby in there. I worried about other things too such as finances and housing. Overall I felt overwhelmed by my anxiety, and I can't thank Jono enough for helping me as much as he could through those feelings.
I am very lucky, I don't get ill very often, and have never suffered anything worse than the flu. So morning sickness hit me hard. I was sick pretty much every day, sometimes several times a day for around five weeks, at all times of the day, and the nausea was pretty much constant. I know a lot of women have it far worse, and I feel for them I really do - morning sickness is horrible.
I had recently finished university and had just started a new job in retail when I found out I was pregnant, so was getting back into the swing of spending the whole day on my feet rather than lounging about. This combined with pregnancy was tough, and by the time I got home I was ready for bed!
Back pain to the point where I could barely move, regular headaches, constant hunger and being over emotional made up the rest of my symptoms during the first trimester.
Overall, I found the first trimester incredibly tough, and that made it incredibly hard to enjoy pregnancy, and connect with the life growing inside me. Now I am safely in the second trimester I can say it does get better, the sickness has gone, the anxiety has calmed, whilst I'm still very tired it's not as bad, and I'm starting to feel like my old self again!
There are now more positive aspects to pregnancy than negative ones, and I am truly enjoying being pregnant. Each week brings more excitement, and I can't believe that I am almost half way through pregnancy now!